VIDEO PREMIERE | Aan, "Hurts to Be Alone"
Bud Wilson of Aan taking it to the streets of Portland; film still courtesy of Patrick J Servais.
Featured off their album Losing My Shadow, Portland’s own DIY pop designers Aan debut the visual for “Hurts to Be Alone”. An album and song inspired largely by bandleader Bud Wilson’s loss of his father; Aan shines a light on the awakening that occurs in the aftermath of grieving by highlighting the gradual processes of moving forward and getting on with life while dealing with the deep aches and pangs of absentia (and a certain type of longing that is hard to reconcile in the wake of irreversible events that cannot be mended). The PDX group pens hymns about coping with the narratives of life in the material world with an honest and reflective aesthetic that sings serenely from places of love, understanding, learning from the lessons of the universe and the pursuit of an inner (and outer) peace.
The Patrick J Servais-directed visual for "Hurts to Be Alone" is arranged to showcase a day in the life of Aan's Bud Wilson. From rising out of bed, Wilson consults a mirror of sticky-notes that indicate items of importance from "Call Mom", "Eat More Veggies", "Join Gym" to the central plot device reminder to "Make a Friend". Bud makes his way about the sidewalks of Portland, offering up a bouquet of flowers (that are politely denied by the would-be-recipient), eschewing fliers for local events, rollerblading at the skate park (and getting a cold reception by the cool-cat skateboard crowd), right before making a break for the beach. Alone with an Igloo cooler, Bud becomes friends with a lost dog that turns out to be kindred companion that joins in on inline skate outings, strolls through the city to enjoying meals together back at home. The song and video concludes with the song's endearing refrain of I got love for everyone that flourishes with the feel of a warm and timeless friendship. Aan mends the hurt of melancholia with the message about the importance of keeping an open mind and heart to finding love after the hardships of loss.
Bud and his bud; film still courtesy of Patrick J Servais.
Aan’s own Bud Wilson shared the following series of insights with us regarding the song, visual and new album:
Reflections on “Hurts to Be Alone”:
“Hurts to Be Alone” was written from the perspective of my mother, months after the unexpected passing of my father. It’s an honest take on what happens when the condolences cease coming in and all that’s left is the gravity of loss and loneliness.
Thoughts on the visual adaptation:
It’s meant to juxtapose the track with subtle humor, but underneath that humor is the truth of someone just not finding their place in this world.
Thoughts on the album Losing My Shadow:
Losing My Shadow is a reflective view of the past couple years grappling with the loss of my dad and subsequent struggles; be they chemical or emotional. Many of the songs tackle the issue of emotional dependence and loneliness head on. The shadow represents those struggles kept secret, and losing them is exposing them honestly in the hope I can overcome them.
Aan’s album Losing My Shadow is available now via Fresh Selects.
Produced by:
Servais Studios
Directed by:
Patrick J Servais
Director of Photography:
Matt Semchee
1st Assistant Camera:
Matt Gromley
Jim Stanek
Key & Electric:
Cody Curtin
Mark Lovedale
Christos Georgakalopolous
Cory Standridge
Art by:
Bud Wilson
Wardrobe by:
Bree Goertzen
Production:
Ryan Moore
Dave Goodman
Appearances by:
Bud Wilson
Lola Servais
Bree Goertzen
Mark Lovedale
Matt Semchee
Megan Semchee
Elenor Semchee
Cameron Spies
Sarah McKenna
Travis Leipzig
Dana Valatka
Ryan Moore
Emily Dokken
Special Thanks:
Semchee Family
Curtin Family
Servais Family
Oliver Schall
Cory Standridge
Michael Maguire
Matt at Droptree
Exit Real World
Food Front Co-Op
Gearhead Production Rentals